Day 66 Post 1 – A Letter to God

Dear God,

I know you can hear my every thought but I need your special blessings so that I can live to my fullest potential as you created me to. Please help me with the following:

Please help me give the boys more of the attention they deserve so they remember how much I love them.

Please help me keep my patience with the baby when she wakes numerous times during the night. She was a gift from you to us and it’s not fair to become frustrated with her.

Please help me cope with the fact that I am not exclusively breast feeding. I feel like a failure.

Thank you for my incredible husband and children. We may be occasionally penniless but we are far from broke.

Thank you for giving me the strength to start and operate my business, and for the clients who keep a roof over our heads.

Thank you for making me.

Amen

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Day 32 Post 1

I apologize for my gripe sessions yesterday morning. I was obviously overtired and worn down. I ended up laying down with “N” at about six and falling alder until 930 when “D” woke up.

I must say… Being a self employed couple that works at home definitely has it’s perks where sleep is concerned.

Anyway… Hubby immediately saw that I was exhausted and told me to stay in bed. And I did… By accident… And slept til noon.

The sleep did a ton of good though because I had major ideas yesterday. I received an email from a wan in my industry telling me about an upcoming event. Essentially she sold the right to 100 people to pick her brain for $600. All 100 slots sold so she made $60,000 for six weeks of work.

I’ve decided to build our services to do what she’s doing.

I can do it. I will do it.

Day 9 Post 1

I just admitted a weakness of mine to a client. I can’t stand admitting weaknesses.

What did I admit?

I admitted that I can’t do everything.

I’ve gone without sleep way too many times because I’ve told clients I would do something I really didn’t have time to do. With “N” here, it’s not like I can go without sleep. I mean, I’ve basically already given up all sleep, and I have no idea what energy reserve my body is running off of right now. My daily schedule has been washed away, and I’m honestly having to choose between using a 5-minute break to wash up or to eat. As a breast feeding mom eating usually takes priority.

It’s a good thing none of our clients are local.

“N” and I were up by 7am this morning to make sure the door was unlocked for “J” and “R” when they got here from their dads. For the next five and a half hours I had a leech hanging from my boob. While these hours were previously my prime working hours, this morning I got absolutely nothing done. But on the plus side, I’ve stuck to my “No Candy Crushers” rule

The fold out chair-bed at the hospital killed D’s back, so we will be heading back to the chiropractor this afternoon. I’m hoping to get some work done after that appointment, but the boys will be home shortly after we get here. Bah…

We’ve got some money coming in next week (Hooray!) and I’m thinking of getting a baby swing at our local Once Upon a Child for “N”. She HATES the vibrating baby seat, and I don’t like paying full retail price for baby stuff, especially when she may not even like it. (First-time moms and germaphobes are probably disgusted by my aversion to new… ┬áHave a few more and become self-employed and you’ll learn what’s important to buy new)

Maybe next week is when I’ll actually get (back) to work.